I Believe
by MysticShadowWanderer
Summary: Kenshin's gone, but Kaoru could swear that he'd never left... [One-shot][Songfic (don't know why I'm so into these lately)]


I Believe  
  
DarkShadowHuntress  
  
Disclaimer: Sadness...  
  
*****  
  
"Even death cannot not keep us apart," he said quietly as he lay bleeding on the ground. Kaoru was strewn across him, his face in her hands. His breathing weakened, he wasn't going to live much longer, they both knew it. A sad little smile creased Kenshin's lips as he softly whispered words of love to her, the first and last time she would ever hear them...  
  
***  
  
'It's such a fresh memory, as if it had happened just a few moments ago,' Kaoru mused quietly, tears streaming down her face in crystalline tracks. 'But he was wrong...' She buried her face in her hands and let her tears turn to racking sobs. In moments like these, she could almost feel his arms holding her, almost here his voice murmuring soothing words to calm her tangled soul. But he was gone now.  
  
***  
  
[every now and then]  
  
[soft as breath upon my skin]  
  
[I feel you come back again]  
  
[and it's like you haven't been]  
  
[gone a moment from my side]  
  
[like the tears were never cried]  
  
[like the hands of time were holding you and me]  
  
***  
  
Sometimes, when she couldn't do anything but sob, she felt his presence. He would be there, stroking her hair, whispering not to worry, that it would be alright. 'That it will,' she added mentally.   
  
"Why did you have to leave me, Kenshin?" she asked aloud, speaking to no one and everyone. For just a second, just a fleeting instant, she heard him tell her that he would give anything to be back with her. "Maybe I'm hearing things," she said to herself. But she knew she wasn't. He was there, as if he had never left, as if she had never felt the agony of her heart shattering into thousands of tiny glass shards. Some days, she even forgot that he had ever died, his presence was so strong.  
  
***  
  
[and with all my heart I'm sure]  
  
[we're closer than we ever were]  
  
[I don't have to hear or see]  
  
[I've got all the proof I need]  
  
[there are more than angels watching over me]  
  
[I believe]  
  
[oh I believe]  
  
***  
  
She knew that he was watching, he would never cease to protect her. But it tore her heart to pieces to know that she couldn't be with him, talk to him, touch him. The need to see him face to face nearly drove her to insanity, at times there was nothing more she wanted than to die herself to be with him once again.   
  
'But he wants me to be strong.' She sighed. "It's not FAIR!" she cried, not for the first time in the few days that had passed. "This isn't how it was supposed to go, we were supposed to live happily together for years and years and then die quietly..." her voice trailed off when she felt a soft touch on her shoulder. She placed her hand on it, instinctively knowing that Kenshin was there, even if she couldn't see him. It seemed that she could almost feel his hand beneath her, and the thought brought more tears to her eyes. "Oh Kenshin, I love you so much." She thought she felt his breath rush past her ear, nearly heard the words that told her how much he loved her in return, but she just couldn't make them out.  
  
***  
  
[now when you die your life goes on]  
  
[it doesn't end here when you're gone]  
  
[every soul is filled with light]  
  
[that never ends, if I'm right]  
  
[our love can even reach across eternity]  
  
[I believe]  
  
[oh I believe]  
  
***  
  
He was always there, always by her side. If he couldn't protect her in body, he would protect her in spirit. It broke his heart to watch her stumbling blindly and to see her visibly shattering, day by day.  
  
'But there's nothing I can do,' he thought wistfully. 'I just can't get to her now, that I can't. But someday... someday I will. No matter what I have to go through, it's all worth it for Kaoru.'  
  
His gaze lingered on her as she settled herself onto her futon, trying to stifle her tears.  
  
'It seems she's always crying now.' There were no happy concepts within him anymore, everything was darkness and somberness, every day was a hell that he went through without her with him. 'What I would give to dry those tears, to hold her in my arms and comfort her.' Cautiously, he knelt by her side, and stretched out a hand that wasn't really there, but wasn't really nonexistent. Unsure whether it was possible for him to be trembling like he was, he gently wiped her cheeks dry, his eyes falling when she flinched and shivered slightly. But she didn't pull away. It pulled at his heart when she started to cry harder at his touch.  
  
'I'm so sorry Kaoru.'  
  
***  
  
[forever you're a part of me]  
  
[forever in the heart of me]  
  
[I will hold you even longer if I can]  
  
[the people who don't see the most]  
  
[see that I believe in ghosts]  
  
[and if that makes me crazy then I am]  
  
[cause I believe]  
  
[oh I believe]  
  
***  
  
They were together as she cried, as she slept. It was only during the day that he could not be with her, as he hadn't been granted the permission to do so. Things had gone so wrong for both of them, their worlds were upside down now. Kaoru still woke up in the mornings thinking that he would be in the kitchen making breakfast, only to be met by the quiet cold. When she walked outside she still expected to see him there, sleeves tied up and up to his elbows in laundry. All she ever found was the painful realization that he was truly gone and this time wasn't going to come back to her like he had in the past.  
  
***  
  
[there are more than angels watching over me]  
  
[I believe]  
  
[oh I believe]  
  
[every now and then]  
  
[soft as breath upon my skin]  
  
[I feel you come back again]  
  
[and I believe...]  
  
*****  
  
A/N: Here's the deal. I usually don't mind flames, but I would highly prefer not to get any for this particular fic. The reason I wrote this was because last night my friend's mom, who I dearly appreciate and love, lost her battle with cancer. She was, is, and always will be, one of the most kind and generous people that ever graced this earth with her presence. I'm very broken up about this, and so I wrote "I Believe" using Diamond Rio's beautiful song by the same title. It's important to me, and even though people may not like it (especially the way it ended), I just don't care and I don't want to hear about it. I respect everyone as fellow authors, but I just don't want to know this time. Reviews I would love, and I ALWAYS would like constructive criticism, how else would I get better? ^_^ Anyhow, I have a feeling I'm going to get pity, just because that's what people do when they hear things like that, and I thank you in advance, because I'm psychic like that. Yay. Or something... (I am psychic though...) 


End file.
